Saturday, 19 November 2005

• at what point, in the heat of an argument, does it become clear that the conversation has become completely unsustainable?  it's a pretty important moment.  but very fleeting.  it's kind of that part in the dispute where getting your point across convincingly is no longer as important as making the other person feel like shit.  or least shittier than you.  it's a little difficult to anticipate it, but once it's happened it's so obvious.  and since the universe loves me i've had consistent strokes of luck in being a participant in several of these quarrels over the past year.  several is way too many.  i don't feel that a person should have to endure things like that more than once or maybe twice every 5 years.  they are never easy.  and i'm so inept at handling drama.

  like when i'm arguing with somebody, amidst the hostile exchange of accusations and harsh language and trying desperately to convince the other person that "no really, i'm right", there is always some part of me that secretly really really wants the other person to just die.  i know i'm not alone.  somehow, you reach a level of infuriation where the prospect of your opponent's instant death becomes a reasonable idea.  right?  i mean.  if they're not going to LISTEN to you they certainly don't deserve to live.

  but alas, we kid!  obviously i'm not homicidal.  just know that if we ever get into a fight, i'm probably going to picture every gruesome detail of your slow and torturous destruction.  unless of course, you apologize for being wrong.  in which case i will take back what i said too.  or some of it at least.  maybe.

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